I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
