do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
