guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
