Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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