im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
