Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
