Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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