Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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