It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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