Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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