I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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