somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
