I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
