I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
