Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
