i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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