I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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