Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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