Can i not drive my cunt home
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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