R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
