too bad you live with your parents still
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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