can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
