People with herpes should wear stickers.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
