$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
