Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Is it penis luge time yet?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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