I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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