Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
