She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Bring me that man meat
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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