This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
