Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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