I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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