I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
