Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
