He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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