I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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