I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
