She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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