he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
is that a dick in a sweater?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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