when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
