i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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