I understand Curling. That high.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
