All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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