My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
