K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
