She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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