Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
