filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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