I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
