So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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