Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
