Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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