I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
